Teenage years really can be like a rollercoaster ride for your teens and you have no choice but to be dragged in with them. Many of you must be worried just why your teen is no longer that peaceful child, why does they have to be this moody a majority of the time? Just why do they have to react before thinking? Are they really so vulnerable to their emotions? Does this mean they are even normal? A plethora of questions surround you.
Before you start making any assumptions like your teen is a one-off case, you need to understand that teenage years are accompanied by a lot of mental and physical changes in biology, meaning that your teens are quite often just a victim of these shifts in physiology. And, don’t worry they are not the only one!
To know more about the changes encountered by your teen in these years and how to deal with them, read on.
The Why of Teenage Years Moodiness
Moodiness can be considered a normal part of adolescent years. It results from the biological changes that a teen faces in these years. One of the notable ones being that the brain hasn’t matured yet, not until the teen reaches the age of twenty. So, it is in a state of flux and lacks the mental strength that adults possess. A thing to note is that the prefrontal cortex, the region at the front of the brain, reaches full growth the last: this region is responsible for cognitive skills such as organization, prioritization and the management of instinctive behavior. Given that they haven’t quite achieved the mental capacity for the control of instincts, it should be no surprise that they will exhibit fluctuating moods.
What to do About Moodiness?
As parents, you need to make sure that your teenager’s moodiness stays just that and does not evolve into something nastier. You have to be mindful to tend to it and find ways to make them feel better. Here are a few ways in which teenage moodiness can be dealt with:
Help your Teen Stick to a Nice Routine
Although with school and study, it is expected they will have a nice routine to stick to, there is no guarantee that they will really engage in the expected activities after school, what with the numerous attention grabbers they are surrounded with these days. It could be easy for them to spend an inordinate amount of hours on social media, or fill up their day by playing a lot of video games, or just chat with school friends on the phone. Perhaps, your teen is the serious, studious type who worries a lot about academics. They could go the extra mile to make their project extra special.
Both the cool type and the serious type are prone to feel stressed. It is seen that teen stress resulting from academic pressure, professional demands or social influences can contribute to a lot of moodiness that could worsen into anxiety or depression. You have to interject and help them stick to a routine that does not make them feel burdened and provides them a balanced set of activities in a day. So, next time they don’t feel tempted to spend two more hours on polishing their science project or get into an argument with a cyberbully. You can get them a beautiful soft board for their room and encourage them to pin a schedule to it.
Allow Them Their Own Time
No matter how much erratic their behavior may seem you should not interfere in their personal lives. Give them the space they wish for. Intrusion from your part will make them even more angry and sulky. So, if you do not want them to say no to picking up the dishes after dinner, taking the trash out, or tidying their room. And if you wish that they did not rush to their room, shutting the door behind them with a thud, after being told that you did not like the way they talked to a sibling, you need to maintain the proper distance. They can be left on their own to deal with the upsurge of emotions. Remember let them deal with things on their own as this will help them gain essential coping skills. However, do help them when they ask for it.
Keep the Channels of Communication Open
Do not cut off all bridges of communication with them, thinking they can be better off on their own. At times they need someone to talk to about the way they are feeling. You have to be willing to listen to what they have to say. Do not, however, respond by delivering a well-rehearsed speech that does not address their concerns. Most teens comprehend what they are feeling or what is happening to them as something unique and they are finding it hard to get around it. They would not be willing to accept simple solutions to their issues. Therefore, you need to respond by asking relevant questions that help them let out their true emotions. A verbal release will help them feel much better already. Next, you need to offer words of comfort, something like:
“It’s good that you decided to come to me to explain how you have been feeling these days. I had no idea that you felt so angry and sad inside. Don’t worry, now we are in it together and we both can figure out a way to be out of it.”
Moving on, you should discuss the possibility of hanging out together to do a shared activity like watch a movie together or play a board game. You could also encourage them to help you with the new piece of furniture you have been working on for a while, or request their participation in preparation of a special Sunday meal. You could also promote the maintenance of a daily diary which will enable them to recognize their emotional state as they jot it down in words.
In Hopes of Betterment
In this article, we touched upon the science behind moodiness to reveal why it is a common occurrence in teenage years. Moreover, we found out that while it may never be so easy for your teens to feel happier and less moody in teenage years, there is always hope that things can be mitigated using the methods we explained above.
Author Bio:
Andy Earle is a researcher who studies parent-teen communication and adolescent risk behaviors. He is the co-founder of talkingtoteens.com, ghostwriter at WriteItGreat.com, and host of the Talking to Teens podcast, a free weekly talk show for parents of teenagers.
